I don’t know about this, Ted thought as he walked across the parking-lot, to his little beat-up little VW. I’ve got a feeling this isn’t such a good idea…

He pulled the keys out of his pocket and glanced to his left and right to see if anyone was looking, then turned around to whisper behind him to apparently no one in particular:

"Are you there?" he asked.

"Where else would I be?" said a feminine voice immediately behind him.

Ted gave a tiny nod of acknowledgment in the direction that the voice seemed to come from, then turned and unlocked the passenger-side door of the VW, and opened it wide.

"Well, hop in," he said, stepping aside, holding the door open.

A tiny, derisive snort sounded near his elbow. "Ted, are you kidding?" Jenny’s voice said. "This is your car?" It was evident from her tone of voice that she was repressing outright laughter.

"What?" Ted said, glancing at the interior of the bug. Okay, so it was a little cluttered. And a little dirty. And the interior left something to be desired. So what? At least it runs! he thought. "What’s the matter?" he asked, slightly offended. "Are you casting aspersions on my poor little car?"

A derisive snicker sounded now. "Ted, come on! Look at it! It’s a mess! Look at all the junk in there! Where am I supposed to sit?"

Ted sighed. "Oh, all right, wait a minute." He stepped up to the open door—and bumped into invisible Jenny in the process. "Excuse me," he said, as his unseen companion squawked and hurriedly stepped aside. "Jeez, it’s just a little cluttered, that’s all…" he muttered as he began throwing notebooks, textbooks, soiled socks, an ancient, dirty left sneaker, sheets of notebook paper scribbled with obscure mathematical formulae, and other assorted bits & pieces of junk into the back-seat of the little car. "There now," he said, motioning to the empty passenger-seat when the task was completed. "Now hop in."

But again, Jenny hesitated.

"Now what’s the matter?" Ted said, shifting his weight impatiently to one foot.

"The seat’s got a hole in it!" Jenny said. "Can’t you get seat-covers for it or something?"

"Seat-covers?!?" Ted laughed. "Whattaya mean, ‘seat-covers?’ It’s only a little hole!" He paused. "Come on, it’s not that bad." Another pause. "Well, all right," Ted made a motion as if to close the door. "If you really hate it, we don’t have to go at all…"

Jenny sighed. "Oh, all right," she said, as she stepped into the little car, settling herself into the worn, tattered car-seat, its springs creaking under her weight. Ted stared, fixated at the sight of the elderly car-seat subsiding under the weight of his unseen passenger, and at the seat-belt suddenly pulling itself across an unseen body and buckling itself in midair. He was only jolted to movement by Jenny’s voice speaking rather sharply:

"Well, are you going to close that door or what?" she said. "Come on, come on, let’s get going! I’m getting cold just sitting here!"

Immediately, Ted slammed the door shut, turned on his heel and jogged over to the other side of the car, where he opened the door, hopped in and started the engine. The engine sputtered to life and with the crunching sound of gears shifting, the little car lurched forward and puttered down the darkening streets of the little college town. As he drove, Ted glanced over at the passenger-seat beside him, seemingly empty, save for a set of distinct and very shapely impressions in its cushions, and the seat-belt curled around negative space, the only visible clues that he was not alone in the vehicle.

I’m getting a really bad feeling about this, he thought as he eventually tore his eyes away from the uncanny sight beside him, forcing his attention back to the roadway ahead of him.

The truth was, Ted really hadn’t planned on going out that evening at all, and in fact, he still wasn’t entirely sure why he was. Somehow (and he was still trying to figure out exactly how) Jenny had talked him into driving her to a nearby coffee-shop for a quick drink. Ted was reluctant to go at first, of course. When Jenny first suggested the idea, Ted thought she was joking. When he realized she wasn’t, Ted’s mind reeled at the potential trouble Jenny would be likely to cause in a crowded public place. Up to now, he’d only read about Jenny’s unseen antics in the newspapers; he wasn’t sure he wanted to actually witness them first-hand. And even though Jenny had promised to "behave" herself, Ted still had his doubts that she actually would (or could.) Jenny had always been a bit on the flaky side, but ever since she had turned invisible, she had become even more unpredictable and capricious. There was literally no telling what she’d be likely to do next.

It was all so very strange: First Jenny turning invisible, then creating a commotion virtually everywhere she went, leaving a path of destruction in her wake, apparently oblivious to it all, and then suddenly dropping in on him in the middle of the night, expecting him to help take care of her, despite the concerns he expressed about her safety and well-being.

And, in addition to these concerns, Ted also had to deal with something else: his own increasingly-confused feelings for Jenny. Prior to this whole sequence of events, Ted had always liked Jenny, but never thought of her as anything more than just a friend, a gal-pal. But now…now, he felt different. Now he found himself thinking about her constantly, and even worrying about her. And he found himself wondering…if there could maybe be something more going on between them…maybe… Or was he just fooling himself? He shook his head in frustration. Ohhh, it was all so illogical! He didn’t know what to make of it all, and it drove him crazy.

He slowed the VW as he made a turn. Both the driver’s and passenger’s seats creaked under the shifting weight as the little car rounded the corner. Suddenly, a loud squawk sounded from the empty passenger-seat, causing Ted to nearly drive off the road.

"OWWWWW!!" Jenny howled.

"JEEEZ!!!" Ted cried, as he struggled to retain control of the little car. "What the hell was that for?!?"

"Something BIT me!" Jenny cried. "Is there something alive in this seat?!?"

In spite of himself, Ted nearly laughed at the question. He was almost tempted to answer, "Yes, as a matter of fact: you!" before reconsidering. "No, it’s uh—" he replied instead. "It’s…it’s just the…" he glanced down quickly at the worn, tattered car-seat, full of holes. "There’s a spring poking through a hole in the seat. It must’ve stuck you."

"How can you—OUCH!—How can you tell?"

"’Cause I can see it."

Jenny glanced down to where her lap should have been, and in the light of a passing street-lamp, saw the car-seat beneath her rear-end. Sure enough, a tiny metal spring protruded from a fluffy mass of stuffing, jabbing her bare skin every time the car made a move. Shifting her weight up, she forced her hand underneath her and felt around for the pointy-end of the spring. When she found it, she tried to force it back down inside the seat. As soon as she did, the car hit a tiny bump in the road, causing her weight to shift slightly and another spring to poke through the seat and, like the first, jab into her naked flesh.

"OWWWW!! OUCH!!" she cried. "DAMMIT, that HURTS!!"

Ted bit his tongue & forced his lips together into a grimace, trying not to laugh. "Sorry," he said through clenched jaws.

"Ted, no question about it," Jenny said. "You really need to get a new car, you know? Or get new car-seats! Or—OUCH!!—some seat covers, at least!"

"Yeah, I know, I keep meaning to do that, but—"

"OWWWW!!!"

"—I guess I just haven’t gotten around to it, ‘cuz I don’t carry passengers that much, so nobody ever sits in that seat. Mostly, I just throw my books & junk there, and—"

As if I care! Jenny thought, as she struggled to shove the second spring back inside the seat-cushion.

"Anyway, we’re nearly there," Ted went on, as though oblivious to her ill mood. "So you won’t have to worry about it much longer."

The little car chugged down the street for another couple of blocks, Ted trying to avoid bumps and potholes along the way. He then slowed and turned into a parking-lot. The little car crept through the crowded lot, as Ted looked for a parking-space.

"Gee, it looks pretty well packed," he said. "There must be a lot of people inside."

"Well, of course! It’s Friday night!"

"Well, it doesn’t look like there’s any place to park. Guess we might as well turn around and go home then—" Ted started to turn the wheel when Jenny spoke up.

"Wait a minute, there’s a space back there," she said.

"Where?" Ted looked from left to right.

"There!"

"Where?!?"

"What, are you blind already? THERE!! Where I’m pointing!"

Ted glanced at the empty seat beside him then stared ahead through the windshield. He shook his head helplessly. "I can’t see that!" he said.

"Ohhhhh!" Jenny said, with an annoyed sigh. "I forgot! All right, I’ll direct you. Just keep going forward. That’s it. Now turn right. Keep going... There…there, to your left… Now do you see it?"

"Yeah, I see it." Sure enough, Jenny had directed him to what appeared to be the only vacant parking-space remaining in the entire lot. Just then, a thought occurred to him.

"Say, this is gonna be an awful long walk to the coffee-shop, isn’t it?"

"Yeah? So? You don’t want to walk a couple extra feet?"

"Well, no, it’s not that, it’s just…I thought…well, don’t your feet still hurt?"

"Hmm. Good point." Jenny stroked her chin thoughtfully with an invisible finger.

"Well then, maybe we’d better just—" Again, Ted started turning the steering-wheel as though preparing to turn around.

"Wait! I have an idea!" Jenny said.

"Don’t tell me, let me guess: You want me to carry you like a baby, right?"

"Ha ha, very funny." Jenny replied dryly. "No, turn around, drop me off at the coffee-shop entrance, then drive back here and park. Then you can walk back and meet me there."

"Mmm…well…all right…" Ted replied without enthusiasm. As instructed, he turned the VW around back to the coffee-shop and pulled up to the curb. The seat-belt unbuckled itself, the passenger door opened wide, and the impressions in the seat-cushions promptly vanished as Jenny climbed out of the little car. Standing near the coffee-shop entrance were two girls. They glanced at the VW with its door opening; one of the girls laughed, while the other shot Ted a dirty look.

"Not with you, buster!" she said, at which the other laughed even louder.

"No, no, not you…I didn’t mean…" Ted hastily tried to both explain and apologize, but he was cut short by another cutting comment from the girl, who now regarded him with a contemptuous sneer.

"Piss off!" she said to him.

"You heard her!" her friend said, now matching her companion’s sneer. "Take a walk, jerk!"

The look Ted now received from both girls persuaded him to simply drop the matter altogether and fast. Without another word, he reached over to close the door when it suddenly closed by itself moments before his fingers touched the handle. Ted felt his face turn an extremely bright shade of crimson as he slowly drove his little putt-putt car to the back of the lot.

As Ted drove away, Jenny narrowly eyed the girl who had made the comments to Ted. Hmmm… she thought, clenching her jaw. I never liked her very much, either…or that nasty mouth of hers… I wonder how she’d like it if I just…

The girl who had spoken to Ted reached into her purse and pulled out a lipstick. She was just about to apply it to her lips when the door of the coffee-shop suddenly opened, and a group of extremely large, boisterous young men wearing football jerseys stepped outside and past the two girls. The lipstick had just touched the girl’s lips when suddenly, something grabbed her wrist and jerked it sideways, smearing the lipstick across her cheek. She let out an outraged bellow and both she and her friend turned to face the group of jerseyed men and immediately began cursing them out.

"You stupid jerks!" was one of the cleaner comments made by the besmirched girl. "You morons! Now look what you made me do!"

The men in jerseys all turned and either laughed and said, "Aww, we didn’t do nuthin’!" (or words to that effect) or else they regarded the girl (now with a large red streak running up one cheek almost to her ear) with quizzical "What-The-Hell-Is-With-This-Crazy-Chick" looks. Both reactions only seemed to infuriate the girl even more. A couple of the young men offered some amusing comments on the girl’s red-smeared face (to which she didn’t take too kindly) after which they all turned and sauntered off into the dark parking-lot, still laughing and joking as they went. The girl furiously closed the lipstick and jammed it back into her purse and began searching for some Kleenex, with which to clean her face; her friend did likewise.

Her friend managed to retrieve a couple of pieces of Kleenex, and held them out to her friend. But just as she was about to take them, they were suddenly torn from her fingers, ripped asunder in mid-air and scattered to the wind. Immediate afterward, the girl felt something moving around in her purse. It felt as though something was alive in there, like a trapped animal, thrashing around, trying to escape. She looked down to see her purse wide open, and something rummaging around among her belongings inside. She screamed in panic, trying to pull the purse from her shoulder and throw it to the ground. She had just pulled the strap off her shoulder when there suddenly emerged from the purse the very same lipstick she had tried to use only moments before.

The girl and her friend both watched in stunned shock as the lipstick floated up from the purse, hovered in space for a moment as it opened itself up, then shot directly toward the girl’s face like a guided missile. The girl tried to duck and avoid the flying lipstick, but to no avail; it aimed straight for her cheeks, and landed solidly with a squooshing sound. The lipstick proceeded to paint crazy patterns all over the girl’s face, becoming quite creative in the patterns it drew: stars, zigzags, circles and bull’s-eyes all now adorned the girl’s cheeks, forehead and the bridge of her nose. The girl continued to try to dodge and duck the flying lipstick, but without luck; no matter which way she turned, it seemed to always be there, coming from every direction. Finally, both the girl and her friend turned and ran, screaming in total panic, into the parking-lot, the attacking lipstick sailing after them in the darkness.

Ted parked the car and was just walking back to the coffee-shop when he heard the screams. Before he could react, he glimpsed two somethings streaking past him like twin bolts of lightning. It took him only a moment to recognize them as the girls who had earlier made comments to him. And even though he only glimpsed them in the muted light of a street-lamp, Ted thought the first girl looked somehow different from what he remembered. It looked as though her face was smeared with some dark reddish-colored material, giving her appearance a clown-like aspect.

What the hell…? The thought briefly fluttered through Ted’s mind, before he suddenly felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut. Uh-oh…! he thought, breaking into a cold sweat. I hope Jenny hasn’t… He couldn’t bear to complete the thought, yet a bad feeling grew within him that Jenny had been doing more than simply standing by, waiting patiently for him. Moments later, Ted’s fears were confirmed. He thought he glimpsed something shiny glittering in the darkness before him. It came closer, and he saw that it was a small, silver, cylindrical object, sailing through the air like a slow-motion, large-caliber bullet. The object then abruptly halted in mid-air and gently drifted to the ground. Looking at the object lying on the ground, in the dim light of the street-lamp, Ted finally recognized it as a lipstick, and in an flash, he realized all that had just transpired. Oh, noooooo…! he thought, slowly closing his eyes. Already she’s started! And we’re not even inside yet!

Just then, his hand was grabbed by something from out of the darkness, pulling and tugging at him.

"Well, it’s about time you showed up!" Jenny said, out of breath. "Come on, come on, let’s go inside!"

"What the heck did you do to that poor girl?" Ted asked.

"Oh, I just gave her a little makeover, that’s all!" Jenny laughed, delightedly.

Ted sighed. "Did you have to do that? I mean, was it really necessary?"

"What are you griping about?" Jenny countered. "She gave you an attitude, didn’t she?"

"Well…yeah…"

"You didn’t like it, did you?"

"Well…no…"

"So I did you a favor then, right?" Jenny released his hand, and Ted came to a halt. "Right?" Jenny repeated.

"I suppose so, but—"

"Well, all right then!" Jenny grabbed his hand again and resumed dragging him along.

Ted and his unseen companion reached the front door of the coffee-shop, which then suddenly opened wide by itself. Jenny released Ted’s hand and gripped his shirt-sleeve, half-dragging, half-pushing him through the open door. It frankly unnerved Ted to be pushed around by unseen hands that way, but he decided that, under the circumstances, the safest course of action was to simply go along with whatever Jenny wanted and just get through the evening, somehow.

"You first!" Jenny said, her voice behind his shoulder, giving him a shove. "Run interference for me!"

Ted stepped inside the doorway, and immediately stepped aside, holding the door open, allowing Jenny to follow. At that moment, however, some patrons were leaving the coffee-shop, and seeing Ted holding the door, assumed he was holding it for them. They brushed past him without a word and out the open door. Jenny had just barely managed to step out of the way in time to avoid being trampled. The very last one leaving however, stepped on the little toe of her left foot, and she howled loudly in pain:

"YEEEEOOOWWWW!!" she cried.

The heads of the departing patrons, as well as those inside the shop, all turned to face the apparent source of the noise. "What the hell was that?!?" was the most-often-asked question directed at Ted (still holding the door.) He began to sweat as he felt many pairs of eyes on him, seeming to bore holes right through him. He broke into a nervous smile as he struggled to think of an explanation—fast.

"Oh, that’s—uh—it’s—" Quickly, he turned and looked outside, then back inside the shop. "It’s just—there’s just a cat out here, that’s all. Shoo, kitty; shoo! Shoo! Go ‘way!" He made sweeping movements with his hand, as thought chasing away an imaginary feline, after which he hesitantly closed the door.

After the inquiring faces had redirected their attention to other matters, Ted felt something out of nowhere suddenly give him a hard smack on the arm.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his arm. "What was that for?" he stage-whispered to his unseen companion, whom he knew had delivered the smack.

"That’s for calling me a cat!" Jenny’s annoyed voice whispered in reply, close by.

"Well, I had to come up with something, didn’t I?" Ted protested.

"Yeah, but a cat? I don’t think I like that!"

Ted sighed. "Well, I didn’t mean anything by it! Anyway, what’s the difference? What’s so terrible about a cat?"

"Well…" Jenny said, grudgingly. "I just don’t like it, that’s all… I get the feeling you’re putting me down, somehow. Anyway, let’s go get a seat."

"Oh, I don’t know," Ted said, doubtfully as he scanned the interior of the shop. "It looks pretty crowded. I don’t think there’s anyplace to sit." He started to turn back to the door. "Guess we might as well just go ho—" An unseen hand grabbed his shirt-sleeve and spun him around.

"Wait a minute," Jenny whispered in his ear. "There’s an empty table back there!"

"Where?"

"There; back there."

"Where? I don’t—"

"Ohhh, let’s not go through that again! Here, give me your hand!"

From out of nowhere, Ted’s hand was once again taken Jenny’s unseen hand, which then tugged him along, expertly leading him through the dense Friday night crowd to a secluded table, tucked away in the back-corner of the shop. They reached the table, and Jenny released Ted’s hand. Ted gulped loudly, but otherwise didn’t react, as one of the empty chairs suddenly pulled itself out from the table. The chair paused in its movement for only a moment, then casually glided into the table by itself, as Jenny sat down in it. Reflexively, Ted glanced to his left and right to see if anyone else had noticed the movement. No one seemed to be looking, and he breathed a tiny sigh of relief. He then bent over and whispered, somewhat impatiently, to the empty space above the chair:

"All right, what do you want to drink?" he whispered. "And make it a small one, okay? I don’t want to spend all night here."

Jenny sighed, disappointed. "Bring me a mocha," she whispered in his ear.

"A mocha?" Ted hissed in disbelief. "Jenny, I thought you agreed you weren’t going to have any caffeine! Remember?"

Jenny let out another disappointed sigh.

"How about something decaf, huh?" Ted suggested.

"Oh, all right!" Jenny said, finally giving in. "Make it a decaf mocha!"

Ted gave a slight nod, turned and walked away, getting in line at the counter.

Sheesh, what a grouch! Jenny thought, eyeing him coldly as he walked away. He sure knows how to take all the fun out of an evening!

As Ted waited impatiently in line, he kept one eye riveted on the chair at the seemingly-empty table in the back of the shop, watching carefully for any sign of movement.

 

---

 

"So what are you going to do?" Tisha said, leaning forward in anticipation.

"I’m gonna go shmooze up to him, what do you think?" Tiffany said, intently eyeing the tall, thin young man waiting at the counter.

"I thought you were going to wait ‘til Monday." Jewel said.

"Well, yeah, but as long as he’s here anyway…why not, right?"

"But you want to get him alone, right?" Tisha said. "Suppose he’s with someone? Suppose he’s meeting someone here?"

"Like who?" Tiffany laughed. "It’s not like he’s got any friends or anything!" Her laughter subsided. "Besides, he came in alone, remember? But you’re right, I guess… I’ll be careful…tactful…"

Just then Jewel noticed that the tall young man was picking up two drinks from the counter, but she didn’t say anything.

 

---

 

Jenny shifted uncomfortably in the hard wooden chair, as she waited impatiently for Ted to return with the drinks. Boy, he sure is a sorehead! she thought. Here, I thought he’d like a nice night out for some fun & relaxation, and instead, he just keeps talking about going back home! The wooden chair creaked loudly as Jenny leaned back in it, folding her arms in disgust. She glared at Ted for several minutes as he waited at the counter, then her gaze drifted over to the other faces in the crowded shop.

Oh, if only there was somebody I knew here! she thought anxiously, as she glanced from face to face, hoping to find a familiar one. Ted’s no fun at all to be around… I sure wish Connie or Muriel were here… Maybe then I’d— Oh, my gawd!! Is that…? Is that…? Oh, my gawd, I don’t believe it!!

Jenny sat bolt upright in her chair as she suddenly spotted a pair of familiar faces in the milling crowd. The faces belonged to none other than her two best friends in the whole world.

My gawd, it’s Connie and Muriel! I can’t believe it! I was just thinking about them, too! Jenny fairly bounced up and down in her seat with growing excitement. I wish I knew what they were saying…! she thought. I wonder if they’re talking about me… I bet they are! Oh, I wish I could go talk to them…! Jenny recalled some of the pranks she had played around the city in the past few days, and repressed a giggle. Oh, I gotta go over there & listen in…! No, no, I better not… I couldn’t do that…but I gotta, I just gotta! Ooooh, I know I should be sooooo ashamed of myself… But this is too good an opportunity to pass up!

Cautiously, Jenny rose from her chair, slowly pulling it away from the table, careful not to make any sudden movement that might attract attention from the other customers nearby. She then skillfully negotiated her way through the densely-packed crowd, heading in the general direction of a certain table on the opposite side of the room. Making her way through the crowd was rather like threading a needle, but somehow Jenny managed it, slipping and sliding her slender body through the narrowest of passages, only occasionally brushing up against a puzzled male patron in the process, who usually looked around him, bewildered, wondering what the heck it was that he’d just felt move past him.

 

---

 

"Okay," Tiffany said, as she wiped a last bit of cappuccino from her lip, and rose from the table. "Here goes." She took a couple of steps in the direction of Ted’s table, then froze in her tracks and turned back to face her two friends. "Look, um," she said. "Why don’t you guys wait outside?"

"Wait outside?" Tisha repeated, her eyebrows arched.

"What for?" asked Jewel.

Tiffany sighed, with a pained look on her face. "Look, it’s humiliating enough for me to be seen in public with this jerk; the last thing I need is to have you guys watching & heckling me from the sidelines!" Glancing from one friend to the other, Tiffany hastened to change her tack. "Come on, please? Look this won’t take long; I’ll be done before you know it. Now come on." With that, Tiffany gently but insistently coaxed her friends to their feet and ushered them toward the exit.

 

---

 

Ted cautiously wove his way between the crowded tables, carefully holding the two cups of hot liquid aloft in his hands. Twice now he had nearly spilled them along the way and—Oooooops!!! he thought as he narrowly dodged another near-miss. That was close! Gingerly, he stepped aside from the patron who’d just pulled out his chair in his path, and continued on his way.

Ted was nervous. He disliked crowds at the best of times; they made him edgy, and he never felt comfortable in them. Added to the present circumstances, what with Jenny being there, invisible, and Ted not knowing quite what to expect from her, Ted’s nervousness was now at a near fever-pitch. His only desire, at this point, was merely to get through the remainder of the evening as painlessly as possible. If he could somehow get Jenny to finish up her drink quickly so that they could leave early, before anything happened, he’d be satisfied.

After a couple of more near-misses along the way, Ted eventually reached his table, where he carefully set the cups down.

"Here’s your drink," he whispered loudly, as he slid one of the cups over to Jenny’s place. "And don’t take all night drinking it, okay?"

He sat down in the other chair and gently blew across the surface of his drink. He then noticed that the second cup on the table hadn’t moved. He leaned forward, and gave another loud stage-whisper:

"Well?" he hissed. "Go ahead. Drink it, already."

He leaned back and took a sip from his own drink—and promptly scalded his tongue on the piping-hot ersatz coffee. He coughed loudly and tears ran down his cheeks. When he recovered, he noticed that Jenny’s drink still had not moved. He frowned at it, and leaned forward again.

"What’s the matter?" he whispered. "Are you mad about something again? Are you sulking?" He paused. "Come on. You’re the one who wanted it; you might as well drink it." He paused again. "Well?" Still no response.

For the second time that evening, Ted felt a sinking feeling in the middle of his gut. "Jenny?" he whispered, reaching a hand out toward the empty seat where Jenny had been seated only minutes before. "Hey! Are you there?" His groping fingers felt nothing but the air.

Ohhhhhhhhh, noooooooo…!! Ted thought, with growing panic. She…she didn’t…she didn’t! She DIDN’T!! Damn, Damn, Damn!! Ted’s hand continued to frantically grope at the air, in vain hope of finding Jenny there. "Jenny?" he whispered loudly, with growing dismay. "Jenny, where the hell are you?!?" But it was no use; Jenny was gone. Finally, Ted dropped his hand to the table in abject defeat.

Terrific! he thought. That’s just great! That’s just wonderful! I needed this, I really did! He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Okay…okay, calm down… he thought, trying to follow his own advice. So where the hell is she? Where the hell did she go? She—she probably just got up to go to the bathroom or something… Yeah…yeah, that’s it…that’s where she’s got to be… She’ll be back in a few minutes, that’s all… There’s no need to panic… After all, what’s the worst that can happen? In spite of himself, a couple of possible answers to his silent question occurred to him. Damn! he thought, slamming the table-top with the palm of his hand.

In the seemingly endless, long minutes that followed, as the drinks gradually cooled, Ted sat back in his chair and scanned the interior of the coffee-shop, expecting at any moment to see some commotion erupt, yet at the same time silently hoping and praying that none ever would. As he morosely surveyed his surroundings, he grew more annoyed and irritated by the second. He felt like a blue-ribbon prize sap. He sighed for what seemed like the billionth time, and shook his head.

What the hell am I doing here? he asked himself. Why am I even here? I must be out of my mind… Why did I let her talk me into it? I should’ve known she’d pull something like this! Damn, I feel like such an idiot now, letting her manipulate me this way! And that’s what she did, too: she manipulated me! And I let her do it! Like a full-grown idiot!

Ted sat, silently fuming for another few seconds, although to him, it felt like several hours. Well, no more! he thought. That’s it! This is the last straw! I’m not going to let her keep taking advantage of me like this! From now on, she’s on her own! He took a sip from his formerly-piping-hot decaf coffee—which had by now assumed room-temperature—and made a sour face as he swallowed. Terrific! he thought as he glared down into the chilled, dark liquid.

So involved was Ted in his own private sulk, that he failed to notice an extremely attractive young woman, approximately the same age as Jenny, approach his table. She stood close by for several minutes, staring at him, expecting him to notice her, but he never did. In fact, it wasn’t until she finally spoke to him that he became aware of her at all.

"Well hey!" she said, beaming. "Look who’s here! If it isn’t Ted Rosenfeldt!"

"Rosenthal," Ted replied automatically, out of habit, without even looking up.

"Whatever," Tiffany muttered quietly. In a flash, her smile had vanished, replaced with an unnaturally-sour expression, only to return just as quickly to its earlier, sunny disposition. "Well, well, this is a coincidence!" she said, her tone matching her impossibly-upbeat demeanor. "My friends and I were just talking about you! Mind if I sit down?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever" Ted replied, barely listening, his eyes still scanning the crowd. Then, as if suddenly becoming aware of the girl’s presence, he jumped up with a hand outreached. "NO!" he nearly shouted, as the young woman was about to pull out the empty chair opposite him. "I—I mean—um—" he stammered, remembering that the chair was, in fact, now empty. "I mean—um—sure, go ahead," he motioned to the empty chair, inviting her to sit down, before returning his attention to the crowd.

Had Ted been paying attention to the young woman however, he would have caught another quick look of annoyance flash across her fine features, only to be just as quickly concealed behind a sickeningly-sweet smile as she sat down. "Well, well," she said again. "We were wondering why you’ve been such a stranger around here, why we haven’t seen you around here very much." She narrowly scrutinized Ted for several seconds, before, again, the tiniest trace of an angry look flashed across her face when she realized that she still didn’t have his full attention. What the hell’s with this jerk? she thought, as she quickly glanced back over her shoulder, in the direction Ted seemed to be looking. What the hell’s he keep looking at over there?

"Are you…" she began, changing her tone slightly, while still maintaining its vaguely phony quality. "Are you alone or are you with someone? I didn’t see anyone come in with you, so I thought…" As she said this, she glanced down at the two drinks on the table, then glanced back up at Ted.

"Yeah, I’m waiting for—" Ted began automatically, before catching the young woman’s glance at the coffee-cups. "I mean—No!" he said, hastily. "No, I’m—I’m all alone." His gaze then returned to the crowd and beads of perspiration now appeared on his forehead. Where the hell is Jenny? he thought. I wish she’d get her butt back here, wherever the hell she went!

The young woman stared hard at Ted for several seconds, in utter disbelief at his refusal to even acknowledge her existence. As if summoning up her last bit of courage, she took a deep breath and tried again. Again there appeared the sickeningly-sweet smile, as she shifted her chair slightly, moving it incrementally closer to Ted. She leaned closer to him and spoke with a honey-sweet timbre to her voice.

"You know, Ted, I have a little confession to make" she said softly, as though about to reveal a closely-guarded secret. "To tell you the truth, I’ve had my eye on you for a long time. I’ve been checking you out. Just between you and me, I’ve always had a kind of a thing for the brainy type. You know what I mean?" She smiled again, and scanned his face for some glimmer of acknowledgment. Still no dice. She gritted her teeth and forged ahead.

"And I know you’ve always had a thing for me, too," she went on. "It’s okay, you can admit it. I know you’ve been checking me out. You’ve always had a secret crush on me… Isn’t that right?"

Finally, Ted’s attention was diverted from the crowd long enough to focus solely on the young woman seated beside him at the table. At first he merely glanced at her, almost as if in passing, then solidly fixed his gaze on her, staring intently at her for several seconds.

Aha! the young woman thought. Finally! At last I got his attention! She reached out a hand, and gently patted Ted on the arm. "I know you’re just dying to ask me out…aren’t you?" she said with a warm smile. "But you never thought you’d have a chance, right? You never thought I’d say ‘yes’…" She paused, looking right in Ted’s eyes. "Well…you know…" she said, shyly (or a reasonable facsimile thereof.) "If you did ask me out…chances are very good…that I might say ‘yes’…" She flashed him a broad smile, displaying a dazzling display of perfectly straight white teeth. "So go ahead: why don’t you ask me? You know you want to… Go ahead: ask me…"

Ted continued to stare blankly at the strange young woman for several seconds. Truth be told, a certain question did occur to Ted just then, turning over and over again in his mind as he looked at her. Finally, as though encouraged by the girl’s friendly, inviting manner, Ted asked aloud the question that had been on his mind:

"Who the hell are you?" he asked.