Laid Up (And Saturday Afternoon)

Laid Up

Bob Temple shifted around in the hospital bed, trying to get comfortable. With an injured knee heavily encased in bandages and a heavy brace, this was not easy. He’d been lying in this rotten bed all day long, and now that it was nighttime, he was really getting sick of it. He didn’t know how he’d ever get through the night. He was scheduled to go under the knife the following morning to try and repair the damage to his knee, so he had been given a mild sedative a short while ago to help him sleep. He sure hoped that it would be strong enough to do the job.

Bob was the star quarterback for the Santa Clarita Falcons, and something of a celebrity. He was not only one of the greatest players in the history of the team, but also without question the most charismatic. He had leading-man good looks, and a personality that could accurately be described as "magnetic." Needless to say, women were attracted to him, and yet men admired and respected him too. He was, quite simply, very likable.

In the ten years that he’d played pro ball, he had done pretty well for himself. He had worked his way up to his current star status on the team, and this brought success and recognition in other ways, too: TV commercials, merchandise endorsements, the occasional appearance on TV shows and even bit parts in a couple of movies. He’d even been approached by a couple of agents with the idea of a career in movies after he retired from pro ball, a suggestion to which he gave serious consideration.

The fact was, Bob was actually thinking about retiring pretty soon anyway. He had made a nice little chunk of money, and he now felt ready to hang up his helmet and pursue other interests. All he wanted was one or maybe two more good seasons, and then he could retire when he was at the top of his form. At first, it seemed as though this would be his best season ever. And then this had to happen. This stupid, useless knee injury during a routine practice. No real reason for it apparently, other than to ruin the rest of the season for him.

That was what really bugged Bob the most about the whole thing: the timing of it. When he was first brought in to the doctors, surgeons, specialists all, they examined his knee, X-rayed it, MRI’d it and done everything else to it you could possibly think of. Yet all Bob could remember was the part about his being essentially benched for the rest of the season. They’d said something about a torn filament in the knee with a possible cracked a capella. Or something like that. Truth is, Bob was no longer even listening at that point. Instead, all that kept going through his mind was the part about the season being over for him. That was all he wanted: just one more good season, and now that was taken away from him.

So Bob was feeling pretty miserable as he shifted around uncomfortably in the hospital bed. In addition to all his other worries, he was also worried about the surgery the following morning. Even though the doctors assured him it was routine, he still nevertheless worried about it. And he’d never spent the night in a hospital before in his life (he’d never even had his tonsils taken out as a kid.) Although he didn’t like to admit it, the place made him nervous.

He finally found a position that felt reasonably comfortable, and the pain in his knee finally began to subside. He began to feel sleepy, and he assumed that the sedative was beginning to take effect.

He was just drifting off when he became aware of hushed voices outside the hospital room door. "623. This is it." Quiet though it was, Bob recognized the voice as a woman’s.

"Are you sure?" the other voice said. Like the first, it too was feminine.

"I’m positive." The first voice answered.

"Think anybody saw us?"

"I don’t know. But they won’t see us LEAVE, that’s for sure!"

The door to the room opened a crack, and a head poked in. Bob opened one eye and by the light from the hallway, he could see that it was a pretty young blonde nurse, looking in at him. This one was certainly a vast improvement over the one who had given him the sedative earlier that evening. Bob hadn’t managed to catch that one’s name, but he was sure it must be Ratched.

The door opened wider and the young nurse came into the room, followed by an equally-pretty brunette nurse. They closed the door and walked over to the bed. In the dim light of the night-light, they silently watched Bob with smiles on their faces. "Damn! He’s even better-looking in person!" the brunette whispered, giggling.

Bob pretended to be asleep, but he soon found it impossible to maintain the charade. Soon a big, goofy grin emerged on his face and he opened his eyes. "To what do I owe this pleasure, ladies?" he said, his voice slightly slurred by drowsiness.

"Oh, we just decided to pay a little visit on our favorite hunk, that’s all." The blonde said, turning on the bedside lamp. She turned to her companion. "Have you got it?" she said.

"Right here," the brunette said, pulling a pair of tiny vials and hypodermic needles from her pocket.

"Uh, I’ve already been given a sedative tonight." Bob said.

"Oh, this isn’t for you," the blonde said. "This is for us."

The somewhat unusual nature of the situation finally began to penetrate the fogginess of Bob’s brain. "Um," he began intelligently, "You…You’re not regular nurses here, are you?"

"Actually, we’re not nurses at all." The brunette said, while the blonde laughingly hushed her.

Oh good lord, Bob thought. Fans! They’ve gotta be fans! They follow me everywhere! He sighed. Oh well, he thought What the hell, why fight it? Might as well enjoy myself as long as I’m here.

"Truth is, we’re from the hospital’s research lab," the blonde said as she prepared the syringes for injection. "Where we’ve been doing interesting work in the field of bio-optical refraction."

"Bio…tropical…reflections?" Bob tried to repeat.

"And when we heard that our favorite hunk was going to be a guest at our fine hospital," the blonde said, injecting her companion, "We decided to put our researches to good use."

Good use? Bob wondered. He watched as the brunette then injected the blonde. Then both turned to face him with growing smiles on their faces.

"Now just relax." the blonde said. "You’re about to see something you’ll never forget as long as you live. Sit back and enjoy it."

The brunette laughed, "You know, I think this will be more fun for you than it will for us!"

So Bob relaxed. He had no idea what they had in mind for him, but what did he have to lose? He could use a little fun. He stretched back in the bed as he eyed the two ‘nurses.’ He looked from the blonde to the brunette and back again. Man, they were really gorgeous! He still couldn’t believe his luck.

The blonde then turned to the brunette and gave her a wink; the brunette winked back. The two then turned back to face Bob.

The big, goofy grin that had formerly been on Bob’s face began to diminish as he watched the two pretty ‘nurses.’ Because these two pretty ‘nurses’ began to disappear, right before his eyes! He blinked twice and opened his eyes wide, as if they were deceiving him. He couldn’t believe it, but the two ‘nurses’ were both gradually becoming transparent! He looked from one to the other as they continued to fade. It was incredible, but he could see right through their pretty smiling faces to the wall behind them! Bob looked them both up and down, and sure enough, their arms and legs were rapidly disappearing as well.

Finally, the ‘nurses’ disappeared completely, and only their white uniforms remained, standing there, floating in mid-air, at the foot of the bed. Bob stared, amazed, at the two uniforms, marveling at how they remained ‘filled-out,’ even though they seemed to be empty.

The two uniforms floated over close to Bob, one on either side of the bed. One of them spoke. "Works like a charm!" said a voice that sounded very much like that of the blonde, to which a voice from the other uniform giggled. Soon both uniforms were giggling in hushed tones, enjoying the shocked look on Bob’s face.

"I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it…" Bob muttered over and over as he watched wide-eyed as the two empty nurse’s outfits began to prance and cavort all about the hospital room, joking and giggling all the while. The two uniforms sidled up close on either side of Bob, leaning over close to him. Bob continued to stare in amazement at the empty collars with the little nurse’s caps floating above. It was incredible, but he could see right down the empty collars, and see the insides of the uniforms. He could even read the labels. If this is a dream, he thought, this has gotta be the most detailed dream I’ve ever had in my life! I don’t know what they put in that sedative, but I’m gonna ask the doc if I can get it in six-packs!

"This is unreal," he said. "This isn’t happening; it only THINKS it’s happening!"

"Wait, you haven’t seen anything yet!" said the voice that sounded like that of the brunette. The buttons of one of the uniforms began to slowly undo themselves. Bob looked to the other uniform and saw that it was doing likewise. Soon both uniforms were completely unbuttoned and they slowly stripped themselves away from unseen female forms, and laid themselves across the back of a chair in the corner. In the place of the uniforms were now two brassieres and two pairs of panties, floating about in mid-air, with the two little nurse’s caps still floating in space immediately above. The floating underclothes continued to prance about the room, shimmying and slinking about as unseen hips wiggled underneath. Bob simply watched with eyes and mouth wide agape.

"And now for the big finale!" said the voice of the blonde, giggling. The two sets of floating undergarments again floated over to either side of the bed. First one bra and then the other tightened up ever so briefly, then immediately loosened as they unhooked themselves, and then fell to the bed. Similarly, first one set of panties and then the other, seemed to curl down and away from the unseen contours which had previously filled them out. The only remaining visible reminders of the presence of Bob’s two nocturnal visitors were the two floating nurse’s caps, and now these were pulled away and tossed aside, one by one. He now seemed to be alone.

"Oh, my god, oh my god…" Ted whispered. He looked around the empty hospital room, looking for some visual clues as to his two visitors’ whereabouts. He could still hear their hushed giggles very close to him. "Uh….Ladies? Where are you? Where did you go?"

"We’re still here," the blonde’s voice said. She was right next to him on his right. "We haven’t gone anywhere. We’re just invisible, that’s all!"

"Well, big fella, like what you see?" said the brunette’s voice, giggling, from somewhere on his left.

"Um…well, I did, when there was something to look at!" Bob replied, the big goofy grin by now beginning to return to his face. This was just so crazy! He continued to look from his left to his right. Finally, he just shook his head in disbelief. "Man…I don’t see a thing!" he said.

"Ah, but WE can see YOU, that’s the important thing!" said the brunette, and she and the blonde giggled again.

"Now, now, Steph!" said the blonde’s voice, in mock seriousness. "No time for playing games! We have important work to do here!"

"Yes, yes, of course." Her companion replied.

Just then, the blankets were suddenly pulled up and away from Bob. Two deep impressions suddenly appeared in the mattress on either side of Bob, as though unseen weights were suddenly placed upon it. The covers then floated back down again, but only partially, stopping mid-way, as though some unseen objects were underneath.

"Examination time!" the blonde’s voice said, to which the brunette’s voice giggled.

"Oooooooooooooo, wooooooooooooow!" sighed Bob as two sets of unseen hands began to run up and down his body, underneath his hospital garment. Suddenly, they abruptly stopped.

"Hey, Deb," said the brunette’s voice, "Maybe we’d better turn out the light? In case somebody comes in?"

"Who cares? They can’t see us anyway. But you’re right, we have to think of our boy here. He’d have a tough time explaining the women’s underwear laying around!" she giggled. Bob felt one of the unseen weights on the mattress shift slightly, and the bedside lamp promptly switched itself off. The unseen hands resumed their ‘examination.’

"Uh—uh—" said Bob, struggling against the returning fogginess in his brain as the sedative resumed its work. "What are your names?"

"My name’s Debbie," the blonde’s voice said.

"I’m Stephanie," said the brunette’s.

"I’d sure like to SEE you both again," said Bob. "You can come up to my mansion anytime."

The unseen hands continued their ‘examination.’ The fogginess continued to encroach upon Bob’s consciousness. He fought it valiantly, but it was a losing battle.

Finally he blacked out.

The next thing he knew, he was being hauled out of bed by strong hands, while a deep voice said to him, "Time to get up, Mr. Temple. Time for surgery."

"But it’s still nighttime!" said Bob. Or rather, tried to. His speech was in fact so slurred by both sleepiness and the lingering effects of the sedative, that he was barely coherent. He opened his eyes and looked around the hospital room, trying to focus both his vision and his thoughts. "Where are the two lovely ladies that were just here?" he said.

"Hm. Well, I wouldn’t know about that, Mr. Temple." Chuckled the orderly. "Come on now, up we go. Rise & shine."

"Man, I had the most incredible dream last night." Bob said. "You just wouldn’t believe it. That sedative they gave me last night must’ve been really powerful stuff!"

The orderly nodded sympathetically, and started to help Bob out of bed and onto the gurney.

But Bob’s hand was caught on something. "Wait a minute, my hand’s stuck." he said. It felt as though part of the sheet had somehow gotten wrapped around his wrist. He pulled on it, and the restraining cloth came loose. When he brought it up to his face, he saw that it was a brassiere. His mouth dropped open.

"Well now!" laughed the orderly. "What HAVE we been up to last night!"

Bob continued to gape at the bra in his hand. Because safety-pinned to it was a tiny piece of paper, on which was a little hand-written note, in pink ink. The note read simply:

"See you at your mansion! Signed, your favorite nurses, Debbie & Steph."